Category: Navigating A Lane Change

Am I on the Road to Nowhere?

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Have you ever found yourself walking a strange path…not sure where you are or where you’re going?

It’s not the same as the road less traveled—which, in itself, signals that you have had some level of decision-making in your expedition. It’s also not a “how did I get here?” moment (and yes, I’m at two great Talking Heads songs and counting), which sounds vaguely promising.

No. I’m talking about a straight up, hands thrown in the air, directionally challenged moment. Even Alice knows, when she falls into the rabbit hole, that she is going down, down, down. I’m not sure if I’m going up, down, or out.

Which leads me to seek a spiritual navigational assist.

If you’re like me, you’ve done your research, you’ve done “the work.” You’ve listened to life coaches explain that “when everything feels like it’s falling apart, it’s actually working out FOR you.” And that if you trust your gut, you’ll find your way. And maybe, like me, you’ve read, listened, meditated, prayed and manifested your brains out and now you’re a sloggy mess of enlightened phrases mixed with “Look Blue! There’s another clue!”

And still I ask (and maybe you do, too), where’s my big “Aha!”? Where’s my Mary Tyler More throwing her hat in the air moment?

It’s not that all is down, lots of things are good. It’s just that uncertainty creeps into corners of happy rooms, patiently waiting to cast its shadow at just the wrong time.

It’s the changing part of lane changes that is both empowering and terrifying.

And, although I love the song, I hope that I am not on the road to nowhere.

What say you? Feeling confident or having a moment?

Driving in the Rain

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I’ve reached an age at which the weather impacts my schedule and my destination decisions. I mention this because I received an alert that a book I really, really, really want to read is waiting for me at the library. I should also mention that the hold expires in three days.

And this is why I am on my weather app. Because it is raining. And it’s not just some common SoCal drizzle, it’s a cold, wet rain that soaked me to the bone earlier today. Let me back up here: I am also a distance runner. Today was Long Run Day, and for any distance runner, Long Run Day is sacred. It’s why we went to bed early the night prior. It’s what we’ve fueled for for the past few days (or more, depending on your training schedule). It’s why the Weather App is positive I’m stalking it–I left my house with the serious calculation that I would finish 14 miles before the rain arrived.

I got to 10.5.

Those last 3.5 were a cold, wet slog. Sure, I could have cut the entire run short and headed home. But that’s defeating my training and that is not the point. However, now that I am home, warm and dry with a hot cup of coffee, the idea of getting bundled up to get to the library, and also, I remind myself, a pit stop at the gas station first, doesn’t feel very exciting. It feels less than exciting.

And so I’m back on the weather app. What do the next two days look like? Better, worse, same? The answer is: same. Dang. So the struggle is real–suck it up now to enjoy the next two days with my new book? Or suck it up tomorrow…or…

I’m not sure when I became a creature of comforts, but staying warm and dry is the best feeling ever. Or maybe I’m still shaking off 3.5 miles of soaked-to-the-skin running.

What say you? Have your habits changed now that there are no “mandatory” trips to drop off/pick up or otherwise transport kids? Do you rethink whether or not you’re committed to a project, a meeting or a lunch based on the weather?

As for me…I’m still debating. But that new book…